that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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