The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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