I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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