I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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