This dress was meant to end up on your floor
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
