Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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