Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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