You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
