the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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