It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
