he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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