So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
