they need to just BURY HIM!
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
