well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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