If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
