so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
