is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
