question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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