he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
