Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Randomize
