Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
