I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
no, he came in my armpit
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
