imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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