I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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