And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
