I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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