those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
