Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
