I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
