break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
