I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
