he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
