yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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