p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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