i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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