she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize