I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
