Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God

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(712): View more from Iowa

I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

my phone cant type all the emotion im having

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on

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(727): View more from Florida

I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking

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(239): View more from Florida

MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.

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(209): View more from California

i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I need more 20 something year old penis in my life

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