The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize