did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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