Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
