That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
