Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
