we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
