I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
