there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
