Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
