we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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