remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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