you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
