so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
