something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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