i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
