Kiss
Puke
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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