you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
