I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
