i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
