Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
