they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
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