I think i peed on brittanys purse
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
